Escaping Egypt
by Harry Potter Fan 1994
Summary: After a crazed villain's time machine goes off at an unfortunate time, the Titans are transported to Ancient Egypt. With an evil pharaoh watching their every move, they have to find a way home before they are picked off one by one. RxS RxBB
1. Chapter 1

Hi! I'm baaack! ...Yeah, so, here it is...

This is like a movie...like TT:T in T...except now it's TT: T in E...

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans.

* * *

"Ouch, Raven! That's got to be the fifth time you smacked me this week! And with the same dumb book!" Beast Boy howled.

"Consider yourself lucky. You've annoyed me many, many more times this week."

"Aw, give the little guy a break, he's just upset I beat him on Mega Monkeys 10...for the seven thousand, three hundred, and twenty first time!" Cyborg exclaimed triumphantly.

"I hate having a calculator for a friend," Beast Boy grumbled.

"Friends! Have you done the 'tumbling into' Robin as of late? I could not find him--" Starfire was rudely interrupted by the alarm, which Cyborg had found it necessary to make ten times as loud so it could be heard over Robin's stereo, Beast Boy's screaming, Starfire's singing, Raven's frequently slamming door, and his own 'Booyah!'s when he won at video games (which was very, very often).

Robin came hurrying out the door, suddenly found. "Dr. Chang," he muttered. "At the museum."

* * *

Hunched and chuckling evilly, Dr. Chang tiptoed into the Ancient Egypt exhibit. "Where, oh where is that priceless, emerald-set-in-24-carat-gold necklace of Cleopatra's? Where, oh where could it be?" He spotted the giant, glittering piece of ancient jewelery in a nearby case and hobbled towards it. In front of the case, he set down a strange looking, whirring device. "My time machine is almost complete...then I can go back in time, gather the largest xenothium deposits EVER in Egypt, and control one of the greatest civilizations in the world with my technology!"

"You know, announcing your plans to the world makes our job so much easier," Robin declared. "Titans, GO!"

Chang quickly pulled out a tiny ray gun, firing it in random directions. He smashed one fist into the glass cover of the case, breaking it and setting off alarms. The necklace was quickly shoved into a hole in his machine, while one of the shots from his ray gun found it mark.

"Robin!" Starfire cried, watching their leader fall unconscious, his torso burned.

"Come on...come on...fifteen seconds..." Chang muttered. It was not easy to simultaneously boot up a time machine and single-handedly defeat the Teen Titans, but he had to give himself credit. One down, one distracted, and three trying to dodge bullets and figure out a strategy.

Another shot hit Beast Boy in the leg of his cheetah morph, cutting down his speed from fifty miles an hour to zero. Cyborg ran at Chang with a sonic cannon at the ready. He fired and Chang just dodged it, although the museum now smelled like burning hair.

Starfire was back in the battle as Raven, who'd finished healing Beast Boy, went back to the K.O.ed Boy Wonder. Her star bolts shattered whatever was left of the case behind Chang, showering him with glass. He aimed his gun at her, but the shot missed, heading instead for Raven and Robin.

The half-demon swept up a temporary shield, and then summoned a filing cabinet to throw at Chang out of spite for disturbing her healing. Sirens were heard outside, and for a second, everything stopped. "Police are here, Chang, you'd better give in," Cyborg snarled.

"Not so fast..." He hit a bright red button on his time machine, and the whole world suddenly ceased to exist.

* * *

Policemen stormed into the museum, guns pointed straight in front of them. They stopped, confused.

"Hey Ralph, where is everyone?"

"No idea..."

"The filing cabinet!" wailed the nightguard, who'd finally woken from his nap. "They took the filing cabinet! Aw, man, the boss is gonna kill me!"

* * *

--Theme Song!--

* * *

Don't you love those tiny things in the T.V. shows where they're completely off topic, like...a coffee table. And the characters randomly say 'mahogany coffee tables don't look good with cherry furniture.' And that statement keeps recurring all throughout the show, and at the very end it somehow saves the day? I think that's creative...but that's just me. Anyway, ending the rambling now...


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry I haven't updated in ages...but I couldn't get my idea down very well...anyways, this is the chapter. I know it should be a LOT better...

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans.

* * *

"What...what just happened?" Beast Boy groaned groggily, waking up to bright sunshine and hot sand...

...Really hot sand...

...Like, sand on _fire_...

...And he was lying on it...

"OUCH!"

Someone clamped a hand over his mouth. "Shut up, green bean! Someone might hear us!"

"Cyborg?" Beast Boy blinked hard to clear his head and frowned. "Where are we?"

"Why don't ya look around and tell me?" The smaller boy sat up, taking in the barren landscape and cloudless sky. Most of his friends (and Dr. Chang) were lying in an unconscious heap, already sweating from the sun. Then he turned around, and his mouth formed a little 'o'. A gigantic pyramid was being constructed, already towering at least fifty feet above them.

"Whoa...it's the Maj Tall!"

Cyborg slapped him upside the head. "One, it's _Taj Mahal_. Two, _that_ is a pyramid. Three, we're a looong way from India. Or didn't you hear Chang? He sent us to Egypt, tofubrain!"

"I know! That was my second guess! Ew..."

"What?"

"I didn't know people did paperwork even all the way back in Egypt..." Beast Boy pointed at a lone filing cabinet in the middle of the desert.

"That's from the museum!"

Black magic encircled the filing cabinet, bringing it closer. "Raven? I didn't know you were up."

"I wasn't. But as soon as Chang is..." Her eyes flashed a dangerous red, and Cyborg and Beast Boy wisely backed away. "Where's the machine? We have to head back."

"Uh...good question, Raven...it's kinda gone."

"Gone where?"

"...I don't know..."

Starfire scrambled up, gasping in terror. "Chang has sent us to the _Xraflnax _rings of death?! The passage must always be accompanied by a guard, how could he have possibly bypassed all security measures--"

"Starfire, calm down. We're not in a torture chamber, we're in Ancient Egypt. It's called a desert."

"Ah...has Robin recovered?"

"Nah, he's still out cold. But we're gonna have to move or something, get some water. Otherwise, we'll all die of thirst."

"And vultures will pick out our guts!" Beast Boy added for dramatic effect.

Starfire glanced at Raven. "You are sure this is no torture chamber?"

"Positive."

* * *

When Chang awoke, he found himself suspended in a sphere of black. Starfire refused to let go of Robin, so the Boy Wonder was currently in flight, still fast asleep. Beast Boy and Cyborg were constantly on the watch for natives, hoping they wouldn't scare anyone on their way to find water.

Ahead of them was a crowd of seemingly deserted huts. They were all covered in a generous layer of desert sand. Figuring they might find food there, too, they headed towards it.

The minute the Titans set foot in the town, animals came by the hundreds. Not just any animals, though. Cats. Lots and lots of cats.

Following the cats were just as many natives, emerging silently from the huts, all wary of the motley group entering their town.

"This could be trouble," Cyborg whispered.

Starfire landed, clutching Robin to her. As soon as she did so, several of the felines broke away and rubbed against her legs, purring. She giggled, petting each one fondly. Beast Boy sniffed. "Why don't they like me? I can actually speak their language!"

"Tamaranians and your cats have similar ancestors. We are like cousins!"

"You never had this problem in Jump City," Raven observed.

Starfire agreed, studying a calico. "Yes, but these seem more...intelligent. They _know, _as I do, that we are kin."

The townspeople relaxed, on seeing the cats' favoritism, and the atmosphere was a lot more welcoming. The natives came forward to pick up their respective pets, chattering happily in a language that only Raven was able to piece together--just barely--from her previous knowledge of ancient cultures. Robin stirred a little bit. "Star?"

"Yes, Robin?"

"There's something..." He blinked his eyes open and stared down (at least, Starfire thought he did.) "There's something on my foot."

"It is a cat!" She picked it up and held it to his face, giggling. It licked Robin's nose and jumped away. "How are you feeling, friend?"

"I don't know...what happened? Where are we?" He watched as Raven, Cyborg, Beast Boy, and Chang were slowly pulled away by the crowd.

The Egyptians tugged on Starfire, nearly separating her from Robin. "Please, I am conversing with my friend!" she told them anxiously, still trying to hold Robin up. They had no idea what she was saying, only pulled harder. Starfire grabbed the nearest native boy and kissed him.

Robin yelped, falling backwards in shock, but Starfire didn't stop. He growled, about to show this Egyptian guy you didn't _think_ about touching Starfire, no matter what century it was--but then Starfire pulled away and started to converse in a completely different language.

_I think I'll just stay on the ground where it's nice and comfy and not confusing..._he thought, rubbing his chest. Why did it hurt so much?

"Robin! They wish for us to meet the Pharaoh! Robin?" Starfire turned back to the Egyptians. "_Please...my friend is hurt. Is there a hospital nearby? Where are my other friends?"_

_"They have all been taken care of," _she was assured.

_"I do not wish to separate from my friend here. Perhaps the pharaoh will be able to wait until Robin is properly attended to_," Starfire suggested. A huge hush fell over the crowd.

"_Miss, be you from the cat goddess or be you from across the river, you are never to deny a pharaoh anything_," a helpful boy told her.

"_Oh! I apologize. Well, where is he?"_

_"In his palace. We will take you there! Do not worry, your friend will be fine!" _the people told her, a few of them pushing her in the direction of the palace.

"Robin, they are very kind! They will attend to you, but now I must go!"

"Star, wait! Starfire! Where are Cyborg and Raven and Beast Boy?"

But she was already gone.

* * *

"Hey, y'all aren't so bad, you know that?" Cyborg said, surrounded by a group of burly men who were chatting carelessly with each other. He didn't know where they were heading, or what they were saying, but they seemed friendly enough. Every time he tried to go in a different direction, at least, they kept calling things at him until he came back.

The group stopped in front of the pyramid. "Yeah...this is pretty awesome," Cyborg admired. They frowned at him and pointed to a large limestone block on a cart, and then to the ramp that went all the way to the unfinished top. "No way. I'm not gonna..."

_Where did those spears come from?_

The men did not look so friendly now. Cyborg charged up his sonic cannon, but his battery level was way too low to risk it. "Aw, man! Why does this always happen to _me_?"

* * *

"_You speak our language well, Dark One,_" an old woman told Raven.

"_I come from far. It is difficult."_

_"Do you write well?"_

_"Hieroglyphics? Uh..."_

_"Come. I will introduce you to the village scribes. They should find you an invaluable translator."_

Raven searched around for Starfire, Robin, Cyborg, and Beast Boy, but could find no one. Where had they gone? _"My friends and I must really be getting home...and the small man we were with, he is a prisoner."_

_"He will be taken care of. Of course, we will help you return home. But not until you have rested," _the old woman meant well, but Raven could not erase the grim feeling in the pit of her stomach. _"And you must stay for the festivities! After all, you would like to attend your friend's wedding, yes?"_

"So...uh...what's up?" Ten little village boys found the color of Beast Boy's skin very interesting, and were staring up at him in awe. "You know, I'd use the whole 'if you take a picture, it'll last longer' line, but you can't even understand me...are cameras even invented yet?" An over-excited little one pointed at his fang, jumping up and down. "You think that's cool? Watch this."

He transformed into a little green cat, meowing at them. This brought a loud, positive response, but suddenly, the crowd parted. A tiny girl, though older than the boys, stumbled into view. Her leg was tied up strangely, and she held a cane. The girl was crippled.

Taking pity on her, Beast Boy purred, arching his back against her good leg. She giggled and petted him, whispering something to the boys. Then, Beast Boy was deftly picked up and carted away.

_Wait! What about my friends? I need to stay with them! I can't be your pet! _If he morphed out, he would crush the little girl. As soon as she put him down, he was outta there.

_Then_ he saw the girl's older sister.

_Or I can stay here a little while, no biggie._

_

* * *

_"Ugh...where am I?" Robin groaned. He'd passed out from pain soon after Starfire left, and woken up in a little sod hut on a table. An older man was applying bandages to Robin's chest, chanting in the language of the Ancient Egyptians.

_Well, whaddya know. I'm the world's first ICU patient._

"Hello?"

The man paid no attention to him, continuing to apply bandages. Robin was getting annoyed.

"Hey! Can you hear me? I want to know what happened to my friends! Where is Starfire?"

He was probably deaf. Robin's yelling did not provoke him at all. And it still hurt too much to sit up. _Might as well get healed first...deal with this crazy situation after I can sit up by myself..._

__

_Yes...that's right, take me right to your pharaoh...I'll get rid of him and then control all of Egypt!_

Unfortunately (for him), that wasn't how it worked. Chang was taken to the farthest, darkest corner of the palace. However much he struggled, he couldn't stop them from tying his wrists to a bar on the wall with thick rope and leaving him there. "No! What are you doing? I come in peace, I..."

There was a little something Chang hadn't thought about when planning to take over Egypt: The Egyptians really didn't feel like getting taken over. His machinery was a little whacked because of the time travel, and he wasn't exactly sure where the large deposit of xenothium was. Heck, he wasn't even sure where _he_ was. He was pulled away by a very tiny section of the crowd, and taken to the palace itself.

* * *

It was no use. He was stuck.

* * *

Starfire was led by the majority of the crowd to a magnificent gate. Identical golden statues of a tall man with a long, braided beard stood guard at either side of it. "_Go! Go!_" the crowd urged her, staring at her in pure worship. _"The pharaoh awaits!"_

* * *

Review please!


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks to **RavenSis, Sizzlin'-Starry-Night-sky, BerryDrops, TAUT13, waves2622, Dancing-StarFrenzy, cartoonfire, Somewhere In Time, kjesStar, cuteknight101, **and **Daniella **for reviewing the last chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans.

* * *

"_There you are..." _The pharaoh himself. Starfire had been shown to his private chambers, a giant, richly decorated room. The pharoah sat in a throne-like chair, studying her curiously. Golden plated bands encircled his biceps, wrists, and ankles; standing out against his dark skin. He was bald and much, much older than Starfire. "_The girl sent from the cat goddess herself..."_

_"Good evening. It is an honor to meet you, Great One," _Starfire said humbly.

"_No. You may call me Hutmentep. And you are?"_

_"My name is Starfire."_

_"Starfire_..." The name rolled off his tongue_. "From where do you come?"_

_"Very far. Across a great body of water."_

_"The Nile?"_

_"Larger_." It wasn't a lie, just not the whole truth. Jump City _was_ pretty far from Africa, or so she was told. The pharoah looked very interested, leaning forward in his chair with a hungry glint in his eyes_. "I am sorry to question you, but why am I constantly associated with your goddess?"_

_"The cats have chosen you. They are the most respected animals in our lands. The prophecy did say you would know nothing about our culture."_

_"Prophecy?"_

_"Yes. You see, our scholars had drawn up a prophecy long ago, that a stranger would enter my kingdom, sent from Bastet. This stranger would bring great power_..." The glint was more pronounced now.

_"I see. My friends and I, where we come from, we are peacekeepers. I believe they are near this palace, in the village..."_

_"Yes, yes_," said Hutmentep dismissively. _"But if you and I...you being the incarnation of Bastet, and I being the Pharoah of the Upper and Lower Nile...the union would be the most powerful in the world. We could expand the borders of Egypt to stretch thousands and thousands of--"_

_"What_?" Starfire didn't like this all of a sudden_. "What are you saying?"_

_"You are to be my wife_," the pharoah said simply_. "Together, we will create the largest empire this world has ever seen." _

Under the boiling hot sun, Cyborg had no choice but to haul huge blocks of limestone up ramps thousands of feets long to build the pharoah's pyramid. _If I have it my way, he'll be needing this thing pretty soon, _the metal man growled in his head. Around him, almost every few hours, peasants died. Either they fell off the ramp, or were trampled by the limestone because they weren't going fast enough, or they were overworked, or because it was just so _hot_. He heard their piteous cries and had to grind his teeth together to keep from lashing out.

A man yelled at him, pulling out a whip. "Oh no. You are _not_ using that thing on me!" Cyborg let go of the block he was holding along with a few other men, and turned to face the overseer. "You wanna fight? Well, come and get one!" He charged up his sonic cannon, not caring how much energy he was about to use, but the overseer backed off in fear, crying out.

That was when two burly guards knocked Cyborg out and carted him to prison.

* * *

Beast Boy immediately jumped into the arms of the older sister he knew nothing about, purring contentedly. The woman didn't even smile, bringing him into the house. The little girl immediately started to cry, but no one paid any attention to her.

Another cat was in the hut, though it didn't look quite as good as Beast Boy did. Tufts of hair had fallen out and left bald patches. Its whiskers were all different sizes. Its ears drooped, tail twitched, and eyes followed him, but the cat looked quite calm.

"_Hey. What's up?" _Beast Boy purred at it as the woman set him down. She went to a different part of the hut, taking out a few scrolls and studying them.

"_You had best leave here."_

_"Huh?" _

The cat sighed lazily, making itself comfortable. "_This girl that you have taken a liking to, she is bad luck. The villagers know this. They keep her, they claim she can stop the flooding of the Nile. But she is watched closely. After all, what kind of an evil person would cripple her sister and do various harmful things to cats?" _It licked its own fur--or rather, where there _should_ be fur, but there was only skin.

Beast Boy's eyes went wide, staring at the serious-looking young lady. _"So, she's like a witch?"_

_"A what?"_

_"A witch. You know, black cauldron, newt eyes, broomsticks, and warts?"_ The cat still looked confused. Beast Boy vaguely remembered that this was Ancient Egypt, far before the Medieval Ages. _"Never mind. So, she's a bad person?"_

_"Very bad. If you will help me, we may be able to escape before anymore harm comes to us."_

_"Good idea. I'm pretty sure I'll be able to help you." _There was no telling what this girl would do to him if she figured out he wasn't a cat at all.

Suddenly, the door was broken down, and guards burst in, yelling in their own language. The witch jumped up, scared out of her mind. _"What are they saying? Can you understand them?"_

_"Of course. I've lived here my entire life, haven't I?" _The cat wasn't cross, he was scared, too. "_They're saying that something is this girl's fault. That the pharoah is to be married, but his wife will not have him for some reason, and it is because this girl is controlling her somehow..."_

_"So what are they here for?" _Beast Boy questioned as the girl tried in vain to defend herself.

_"They're taking her to prison. We must leave, now! Or they will take us, too!"_

Too late. The head guard noticed the two cats, and caught them both.

_Come on...I can morph! But then they'll think I'm a witch, too...will they burn me at stake? _

The witch's crippled sister hobbled in, and she was taken, too.

* * *

_I shouldn't be here. I should be healing Robin. I should be opening a portal to take us back home. I should be with my friends. I should be making sure Chang is detained. _How was Raven supposed to say this to any of the mean, snobby-looking men she was introduced to?

"_You are a girl. Hmph. And yet you speak two languages fluently, and can write in both. What idiot would waste his time teaching that to a girl?" _shot one scribe, sneering at her. Raven rolled her eyes, sighing quietly. They knew nothing. Their insults meant nothing. She had more pressing problems.

_"Yes, and evidently she learned nothing. She is dumber than a slave!" _chortled another.

Raven heard yelling, and turned from them to the open courtyard of the palace. She saw a flash of green among the dark-skinned guards, and her eyes narrowed, sure it wasn't grass. "Beast Boy!" she called, ignoring the older men yelling insults at her. She thought about stopping them with a barrier of black magic, but it wouldn't have done her any good. They would turn against her too, probably.

Civilizations. They couldn't handle _any_ change.

She followed silently, almost as if she was a shadow.

* * *

The man who had been healing Robin had long since left. The Boy Wonder was all alone, wondering what had become of everyone else. His chest hurt like crazy, and he wished Raven would come along and help him out...

Was she in trouble? What about Beast Boy and Cyborg? What about _Starfire_?

Enough being a wimp. He had to find Starf--uh, them. Gritting his teeth, he stumbled out of the bed, shakily walking to the door. The top of his tunic was left on a table, so he grabbed that and put it on, wincing in pain.

_She said she had to meet the pharoah. He'll be in the palace..._ Robin could see the palace from where he was standing, but it still seemed very, very far off. He groaned and took the first, tiny step, nearly collapsing.

_This could take a while._

_"I apologize, but I cannot agree to this marriage."_

_"Why not?" _the pharoah asked, his eyes ablaze with anger. He stood up. _"Do you realize what this could become? We may be able to be the rulers of the world! Our empire would stretch from your lands to mine! All the rivers and deserts in between, as well!"_

_"Um...perhaps I can think over this?"_

Hutmentep was not done ranting. _"You do not refuse anything to a pharoah! I am your god on Earth! I am the greatest being alive! I deserve to wield all the power--"_

_"Your Highness, my Pharoah, I have found this unworthy vagrant outside your palace, begging for entrance," _said a servant. Starfire turned around, gasping when she saw who it was.

"Robin! You are hurt!" She rushed to him, gingerly plucking his exhausted form out of the servant's arms.

"Hey, Star," he croaked, only making her worry more.

"Do not fret, friend. I will search for Raven and she will complete your healing. Are you alright?"

"Don't worry about me. What's going on? Where is everyone?"

"I do not know," Starfire admitted, biting her lip.

All this while, the pharoah had been conversing with the servant, and the servant suddenly hurried off. "_Who is this man?" _Hutmentep asked her_. "Is he the reason you will not marry me? You still entertain notions of love?"_

Starfire blushed profusely, slightly glad Robin hadn't been able to understand. _"I...there are many more reasons. I have a home, I cannot just leave it. I have friends, and a duty to my people, and--"_

_"Oh, that is all taken care of," _the pharoah said wickedly. "_You see, three of your friends are in prison as of right now. They will be executed at a moment's notice. And this man, the one you claim will take you from me..." _The pharoah grabbed Robin, making the younger boy cry out.

"_Stop! You are hurting him!"_

_"I will hurt him much more, if you do not agree." _Starfire's eyes lit up, and she charged up her star bolts, ready to blast Hutmentep to kingdom come. However, the pharoah had one last trick up his sleeve. He reached down under the armored skirt he wore and pulled up a hidden knife, probably there to stop assassins. Or, of course, he could use it for more unconventional methods, like killing the love of his cat-goddess-incarnation's life.

"Star! Ouch...get your hands off me..." Robin struggled, but he was too weak. Starfire could do nothing. The minute her star bolt hit, that knife would be plunged into Robin's neck.

_"What say you?" _the pharoah inquired smugly. _"Remember, you cannot run whenever you would like, either. Your friends will die, one by one, should you do so."_

Starfire's shoulders sagged, helplessness overriding all thought. _"I accept."_

* * *

Lol Hutmentep...I kinda made that up...but I thought it sounded Ancient Egyptian. And when the pharoah said 'three of your friends' he meant Cy, BB, and Chang. Not Raven, she's just kinda following around. He doesn't know that the Titans and Chang are kinda enemies...


	4. Chapter 4

Hey, again! I didn't forget this one either...

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans.

* * *

"Dude! This time zone is totally whacked! There's a witch and a flood and now there's a _dungeon_, too?" exclaimed Beast Boy.

"Shut up. I'm trying to take over an empire!" screeched Chang.

"How's that working out for you?" Cyborg shot at him.

Robin had been uncerimoniously thrown in a very primitive prison cell with Beast Boy, Cyborg, and the said villain. He was chained to the wall, as were the other three, and it hurt like--

"Raven!" he croaked. She had appeared out of the ground right in front of him. "Help. Please."

Without further ado, she healed his bruised ribs, and he relaxed a little.

"Yo, Rae, what's the scoop on Star?" Cyborg really could have broken out by now if he had wanted to, but it wouldn't have done any of them much good. The Egyptians would have had to find a bigger, better jail for him, and the Titans could possibly mess up the technological time stream if they invented something _too_ strong. Besides, Robin hadn't been able to move for the better part of the time he'd been captured, and Cyborg wouldn't leave without his friend.

The empath could feel the royals' emotions a mile away, they were so strong. Two in particular: greed and worry. And the pharoah probably wasn't the one worrying. "There's a wedding underway. The pharoah's not wasting any time, and Starfire still thinks you guys are in mortal danger."

"We have to get out now. Knock the guards outside out quietly, make sure they don't alert anyone else. Then we pull a surprise attack on the palace, get Starfire out, and..." Robin was at a loss. Chang tutted at him.

"Until you find the machine you lost, we're all stuck."

Raven whirled on him, a vein twitching in her forehead. "You know, we were considering leaving you here as a gift to the Egyptians. Maybe, if you're lucky, they won't sacrifice you and just torture you instead. Or I could save them the trouble."

The old man backed away as far as the wall would allow him to.

A hissing and spitting alerted them. Through all the excitement, they'd barely acknowledged the two girls and their cat sitting in a corner of the cell. Beast Boy went feline and addressed it. _"You wanted to say something?"_

_"It sounds as though you have a plan to escape."_

_"We do, sorta. But we kinda need this time machine. It's shiny and box-ish. You seen it?"_

_"Shiny...like gold?"_

_"Uh, sorta. I think it's buried in the sand somewhere."_

_"Like gold?"_

_"Um, no, it's kinda hard to get around here."_

_"Like gold?"_

_"NO! NOT like gold! It's metal, which you probably don't know anything about! It has little blinky thingies on it and it makes a whirring noise and it is NOT LIKE GOLD."_

The cat thought for a moment. _"My mistress might have picked it up. You know, the 'witch.' She enjoys destroying strange objects. Perhaps she hadn't gotten around to it yet. You should go check."_

_"Thanks." _Beast Boy transformed back into a human, turning to his friends. "So, I was at this weird voodoo-girl's house, right? And she experiments and stuff and she's evil and she likes to destroy unknown things!"

Raven threw a side glance at Cyborg. "Translation?"

"The hot gi--I mean, that lady over there might have it. Mighta broken it, but it wouldn't hurt to check. BB might be able to lead us to her hut or whatever. We grab it and get Star and move out."

"Sounds good," Robin said, moving his limbs experimentally to find he was perfectly okay again. "Titans, GO!"

With one powerful punch, Cyborg broke them out of the crude prison. Guards on the other side were startled into silence for a minute, which was all the time the Titans needed. The three jailers were knocked out at once.

"Wait! What about me?" called Chang.

Raven looked back. The villain was still chained, as was the witch and her sister. The cat had long since scampered off with a grateful half-glance at Beast Boy. "Leave him," she muttered. In a louder voice she added, "We'll come back for him...if we feel like it."

"No! Wait--" She had already transported the Titans into the witch's hut.

* * *

_"You look as though you are being punished,"_ chuckled the pharoah. Starfire was never one to throw dirty looks at people, but at this point she wished she'd learned how from Raven. Instead, Starfire refused to answer._ "Do not despair. We will have the greatest reign in history."_

_"Truly, I would much rather have my friends and a way home," _sniffed Starfire, wincing at her attempt at sarcasm.

However, her wish was granted. At that moment, four Titans and a time machine popped up from the floor. The entire palace was stunned at their arrival, but the pharoah was the first one to react.

"_Traitorous woman! I was expecting this! SEIZE THEM!"_

What seemed like the entire Egyptian army poured out of every nook and cranny.

"Dudes, I don't know what he said, but I'm pretty sure this isn't the welcoming committee," Beast Boy stated.

"Really? How'd you figure that one out? Was it the spears pointed at us?" Raven deadpanned, firing up her dark energy.

Starfire's eyes glowed. "_How DARE you attack my friends! You have crossed the line!" _Her hands began to glow, ready to take out the pharoah. He only smirked, watching the rest of the Titans prepare to fight to the death. The entire marriage hall was silent, waiting for the pharoah to give the order to attack.

_"Do not stress yourself. You and your friends have no chance against this many people. Even if you work up the courage to kill me, my army will stop at nothing to eliminate the criminals who dared harm the pharoah. You have no escape whatsoever."_

Again, she was at a loss. All the corners were covered. _"You are an evil man._"

He shrugged. _"The last person who told me that did not have a very happy life in prison."_

Through the doorway, a single, half-bald cat slinked. It hissed at Hutmentep, what remained of its fur jutting out in all directions. The townspeople's attention shifted to it, wondering why it had taken such a strong dislike to the pharoah. Behind it, three more cats came, and then ten more. They crowded the hall, all of them spitting at the pharoah. Even the ruler was confused.

Beast Boy morphed cat. _"What do you guys think you're doing?"_

His old friend gave him a half-smile. _"Have you learned nothing during your stay here?"_

_"I'm not really the guy for smart stuff."_

_"Then let us take care of it. We would do anything for--"_ He shot a reverant look at Starfire. _"--the princess. Thank you for the escape...and journey safely. ATTACK!"_

The town's population of feline residents jumped, claws ripping at the air, and eventually, the pharoah's flesh. Hutmentep screamed, falling backwards. No one made to help him; in fact, they backed away slowly, letting the cats do their work. When they finished, a cowering man with no crown, no beard, and no jewelry shivered on the floor before them. "_Please...don't come near me...stupid animals!"_

"That was unexpected," Beast Boy commented after achieving his human form. "Oh, and Star? You see those cats over there? They're kinda crushing on you. A lot. Especially that guy." He pointed to his newfound friend.

Robin turned a deep scarlet. "That's IT! I don't--grr!--this is--these--argh!--unbelieveable--not putting up with--LEAVING! We. Are. LEAVING!" He grabbed Starfire's arm and marched out the door, much to everyone's surprise. The Egyptians didn't even spare him a glance, though, they were too busy trying to figure out why the old man trying to hit the cats looked like their pharaoh. Evidently, it clicked to somebody, because they all started to chant.

"What are they saying?" Cyborg asked Raven.

"They're going on a riot to find a new pharoah. Nothing big. Apparently this guy didn't leave any heirs. We'd better get out of here before they choose any of us."

"But friends! How are we to journey back to our time period without the assitance of our...oh." Cyborg waggled the bulky time machine in front of Starfire's nose. "Glorious! I must say that this era is not one of my favorites."

Robin grumbled.

"Well, y'all, let's crank this baby up and get out of here!"

* * *

So, this is the penultimate chapter for this story, too. Review please!!


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks to **Someonething94, contagiousCHRISTian, Somewhere In Time, Dancing-StarFrenzy, ox soaring-star xo, Brokenwings88, cartoonfire, XxCashCashxX, DragonRider422, tennisgal456, **and **RavenSis **for reviewing!

And to **Daniella** the anon.: Thanks for your review! Lol that's what I would say...

I've decided to make this a little longer. Thank you to DragonRider422 for the idea!

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans.

* * *

_"Well, y'all, let's crank this baby up and get out of here!"_

When the five Titans awoke, they found something was terribly, terribly wrong. For one thing, they were still in Egypt.

"What's wrong with this thing?"

"Not another pyramid, I think I'm gonna puke!"

"Is it just me, or does this place look familiar?"

Raven held up her hand, and everyone quieted. "Do any of you remember an ocean in Egypt?"

The Titans looked around. There were three gigantic pyramids in view, and many tiny towns made of sod, as they'd seen not five minutes--er, many centuries--ago. Yet, there was something off about the whole place. Instead of the desert they'd been surrounded by, a very watery environment greeted them. They were on an island, though...the same island that used to be their home.

"You guys, this is Jump City...Egyptianized!"

* * *

The five friends had decided to lay low until they figured out what was going on. Everywhere they went, they saw sad-looking people planting and cleaning and making things with primitive tools. There was no factory in sight, let alone a skyscraper. There were no giant superstores, only small markets and stands.

"What happened here?"

"DUDES!" Beast Boy yelled suddenly. Four hands clapped over his mouth, but none of the citizens seemed to mind. The Titans relaxed.

"What?" asked Robin irritably. He was on the lookout for cats.

"The electronics store is gone! You know what that means?"

It dawned on Cyborg first. "No more...videogames..."

Raven looked ready to slap the two of them. "Concentrate on the task at hand. No one cares about your idiotic video games. That includes you," she growled, rounding on Robin. He scratched the back of his head sheepishly.

"They don't matter to me...c'mon...let's go find some museum or something that'll tell us what's going on..."

A few blocks later, they arrived at their destination. The museum was built like a warehouse, though much shorter. The Titans wouldn't have been able to discern it from the shacks that surrounded them if it hadn't been covered in heiroglyphics and very ominous-looking eyes. Two guards stood at the doors, their faces covered in visors and surprisingly modern laser guns in their hands. They wore blue suits and dark boots, which stuck out from the rest of the population by a mile.

"I swear! This is like Diva Fu!" Beast Boy cried, throwing up his hands. "Don't those goons look like someone we know? Maybe someone's uncle?"

"They do," Starfire agreed. "But in a rather bad way. I would much rather not pass them to enter the museum."

"Star's right. Raven, can you get us in?"

Without warning, Raven receded into her soul self, taking all the Titans with her. They shot up from the museum floor, instinctively pressing their backs to the walls. "Anyone see anything we should know about?" whispered Robin.

"Look at this, Rob...the High Ruler's cane, found in 1760 near his grave," muttered Cyborg.

"Yeah, I see something too...the High Ruler's fourth pair of goggles, given to...someone named Sa-ra-bu-la-ti--"

"Given to someone. We got it. Read the rest," Raven said.

"Given to that guy in 300 AD."

Robin glanced at Raven. "Goggles weren't around in 300 AD, were they?" The empath shook her head.

"You know, if you wanted to look around, you could have come through the front doors." The Titans spun around facing a serene old man with a long, snow-white beard. "Is the circus in town? That does not happen often enough," he commented, nodding at Robin's traffic-light uniform. The Boy Wonder scowled, but Cyborg spoke before Robin could get anything out.

"Who's this High Ruler guy?"

The old man looked startled. "The High Ruler. You do not know him? He is the most sacred of our gods...Are you all touched in the head?"

"Very," muttered Raven.

"Then come along." He led them to a different section of the museum, where only one statue was placed. It was a large sculpture of a fat man wearing goggles and sitting on a jeweled throne.

"You guys, that's Chang! We forgot him in Egypt!"

* * *

And now he's taken over the world! Gasp!


	6. Chapter 6

I lied. I updated, but this is kind of a stupid chapter...

Disclaimer: I don't own the Teen Titans.

* * *

"Yes," the old man agreed. "High Ruler Chang. He and his successors have kept our Empire going for millenia. Without him, many of our technological advancements would not have been possible. He--AHH!" Robin, still a little upset over the whole "circus" deal, had grabbed the unfortunate man by the front of his clothes.

"Take us to whoever's in charge of this whole operation. Now."

"I...I am afraid...I mean, I am afraid I c-cannot do that, s-sir."

Robin shook him. "Why not?"

"Yo, put him down. The guy doesn't know anything," Cyborg said quietly. With one last growl, Robin did as he asked, and the old man scampered away much faster than old men generally do.

"I can't believe this," the Boy Wonder muttered. "How did we forget that guy in Egypt? He probably terrorized the world! With his big xenothium deposit and all of his--"

"Robin," Starfire said softly, "there is only one solution. We must go back and retrieve him, or at least remind our past selves of what could befall us, should we underestimate him again."

"You mean, we have to go _back_ to that place? Where everyone was trying to kill us?" Beast Boy pointed out.

"Maybe we don't have to. Raven, can you pull him out of the past again, like you did with Cyborg?"

Raven thought about it. "I could. I would need time, though, enough time to research a moment where it wouldn't disturb the natural order of the Egyptian empire if we took him out of the picture."

Suddenly, guards burst through the museum doors, charging up their deadly lasers. The old man was with them, pointing at the Titans. "Them! There they are!"

Cyborg grimaced. "I don't think we've got a whole lot of time on our hands, Raven. Looks like we're finding that time machine and heading back...soon as we kick their butts."

Starfire's eyes glowed a bright green as she charged up her firebolts and flung them at the foes. Robin's bo-staff snapped to its extended length, twirled by its owner to deflect oncoming attacks. Cyborg, already low on battery, made do with his bare (though steel-covered) hands. Beast Boy immediately went Tyrannosaurus. Raven started to mutter her infamous chant, and a couple weapons suddenly drifted out of their owners' hands. The goons had never seen anything like it.

Nevertheless, the Titans were taken down in minutes due to sheer numbers.

* * *

"I know you."

They had all been knocked out and carted to a magnificant palace. At least, the inside was magnificant. The Titans had no idea where they were, or what the building actually looked like, but they had a strong feeling they were underground. The five of them were strapped to metal beds that slanted so they could see horizontally. The view was rather confusing.

"I've heard all about you." A little boy stood in front of their trapped forms, jaw dropped in awe. "My parents told me. And my grandparents told them. And their parents told them. And their parents told them. And their--"

"Okay, we get it, man. Who are you?" Beast Boy interrupted impatiently. The impressed demeanor dropped a little, but then gathered itself.

"My name is Chang 15543928001. And you are Beast Boy, the dumbest of the Teen Titans."

"At least his facts are right," Raven deadpanned, deciding to keep her ability of transporting out of the chains a secret, for now.

"How do you know us?" Robin growled.

"Is it customary to have so many numbers in one's name?" questioned Starfire.

"Robin. Starfire. Cyborg. Raven!" the child sang. "I can't believe I finally met you. The Scripture says to destroy you but I don't think that's necessary. Why don't you all stay to be my friends?"

"What scripture?" Cyborg asked.

"It would be glorious to remain and become friends, but we may have a few errands to run first," Starfire explained kindly.

_You should tell her not to waste her breath,_ Raven told Robin. _The little brat's trying to trick us._

_I figured._

"The Scripture," explained the boy impatiently. "It's the guideline for all life on Earth. The High Ruler wrote it himself. You've never heard of it? Hmm...well, I guess you wouldn't...the High Ruler says you were 'thrown across space and time' because you were so stupid that no one wanted you guys. I don't think you're stupid. You know what I think is stupid? What Starfire said. Why does everyone have to be named after the High Ruler? Did you know there are more than fifteen billion Changs in the world? What does that say about your own identity? I can't be recognized if I'm smart, or athletic, or anything, because no one can remember the numbers after my name. 'Chang did it.' That could be ANYONE from the last four thousand years!" The kid continued to babble, and the Titans actually almost believed he _did_ need friends.

_He's smart. Really smart. He knows how to play to our compassion. Or maybe that's written in his 'Scriptures.'_

"Where's your leader?" Robin tried.

Chang 15543928001 giggled. "I _am _the leader. This is _my_ planet. But I'm still so lonely."

Beast Boy cracked up. "You're the pharoah of the Earth? But you're like...six!"

The little boy's eyes glinted. "Nine. And powerful."

The changeling shut up.

The pharoah continued. "I really don't want to destroy you. At least, not today. Oh! You know, I've been having a lot of trouble over in Arizona..." His voice dropped a few notches as he mulled his predicament over. "If I had a team of superhumans to keep peace...like a branch off of my regualr police force...xenothium...to make mutants..."

"We can still hear you," Beast Boy grumbled crossly.

The young ruler flushed. "Well, then, you know what I'm thinking. What about it, Titans? Will you stay? I won't kill you yet. And I may have something that would spark your interest...something that you may need. I'll show it to you, too. But first, you'll have to promise to do everything I say. If you want to live."

Robin shot his team a glare as they began to cry out. "What's the 'something' that you have?"

"So glad you asked, Robin. Guards!"

Two henchmen carried between them a bulky, metal object. The time machine. Robin made a split second decision and hoped for the best.

"Raven, NOW!"

An envelope of darkness covered them all.

* * *

Sorry. Not my best work.


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